You.
Disclaimer: If you think this is about you, it's probably not. This is about one person, and if you are reading this it is most likely someone else. You can ask and I will tell, but don't get angry.

You never do anything for anybody without making sure it benefits you in some way. Think about it. When was the last time you spontaneously brought someone something just because you could? When was the last time you did that one thing that you know is appreciated without being asked? I can't tell you. Probably because you don't.

Hm. If you want more, look to LJ.

Judging Diversity
I'm into day two of my reading week -- the plan for day two was to do nothing until work at four, day one having been my designated "moping day" -- and have watched a total of FOUR HOURS of reality "judge" tv. You know, since judge Judy there has not been one halfway decent caucasian judge -- moreover, there is only ONE male judge. I'm absolutely not complaining -- my favourite is still the People's Court and i LOVE it when she talks spanish (which is an AWESOME language). I think it's just that us white people are somewhat boring. Or really boring. I think that can be a good thing though.
Anyhow, Changing topics, I was skiing two weekends ago when I hit a wall -- it wasn't a physical wall(that would have hilarious, though) it was an emotional one. Runs that should have posed no problem for me became terrifying obstacles; the actual physical act of skiing proved to be almost insurmountable. After the second run I started to cry - I was overwhelmed with feelings of guilt for ruining the day and frustration at my own seeming inability. It was all too much and ended up being a very short ski day.
Fear and guilt are the tag-team that run my life -- it just so happens that it was manifested in a more physical form on sunday. There are a lot of changes I want to make in myself - I want to change my self-image, and to rise above all the fear and guilt that surround me - I just don't know where and how to start.