Judging Diversity
I'm into day two of my reading week -- the plan for day two was to do nothing until work at four, day one having been my designated "moping day" -- and have watched a total of FOUR HOURS of reality "judge" tv. You know, since judge Judy there has not been one halfway decent caucasian judge -- moreover, there is only ONE male judge. I'm absolutely not complaining -- my favourite is still the People's Court and i LOVE it when she talks spanish (which is an AWESOME language). I think it's just that us white people are somewhat boring. Or really boring. I think that can be a good thing though.
Anyhow, Changing topics, I was skiing two weekends ago when I hit a wall -- it wasn't a physical wall(that would have hilarious, though) it was an emotional one. Runs that should have posed no problem for me became terrifying obstacles; the actual physical act of skiing proved to be almost insurmountable. After the second run I started to cry - I was overwhelmed with feelings of guilt for ruining the day and frustration at my own seeming inability. It was all too much and ended up being a very short ski day.
Fear and guilt are the tag-team that run my life -- it just so happens that it was manifested in a more physical form on sunday. There are a lot of changes I want to make in myself - I want to change my self-image, and to rise above all the fear and guilt that surround me - I just don't know where and how to start.