...And it's over...
Just like that. It's a strange feeling - an awkward one that i don't know if i like or not. Actually, i
do know: I don't like it at all. I feel very....sad, actually. Like, i was sitting watching TV and saw something regarding a movie. And i thought 'i can't wait to talk about this in History'. Yet...there
is no more History. There has been so much this year -! Meeting new people, making new friends.....experiencing new (or...old...) feelings and having just one hell of a time. I mean - i can't believe that i've only known Dawson for a year - and that i'll only ever be under her....teaching wing (so to speak) for one year. That sucks. ANd I'll never have another class with Jack and Ned...and Brandon...all those people who (though I'm only close to one of them) made classes interesting. Jessca. Rabbit. Ligwa. And i never got to know half the people i wanted to! I understand that everyone..or...most people go through this...but it just seems more...painful for me. I dunno why. Maybe because it's the first time
i've gone through this.
I have no regrets. The person i like i told. The friends i love know it.
I'm a lot more agressive than i was. Thinking about the changes...actually....here. This is my first journal entry from BC.
Dear Diary,
Hey! I know i don't write much, but i'm glad i own you. I've moved. I kinda like it here, but i'm really lonely. I miss DJ, Nat and them. I wish i had someone. Anyone at all. When i doze off at night, i wake up expecting to be back home, in Kanata. But i'm not.
I've come a long way. I can't do this - I'm going to make myself weepy -! Ohhhh goodness. This isn't the end it's only the beginning! I've got such a long way to go....and if i start breaking down over all the little things...lol what a fool i am!
On a more familiar note...his phone is....i dunno. it rings then goes to the 'busy' signal. so beats the hell out of me what that means. Meh.
Ahh yes. Weepy songs. I shouldn't be playing this music....
One step closer.
One step closer to the edge. Don't worry. I'll get the courage up to peek over soon. But right now I'm revelling in memories of the things that meant something to me in my teenage years.
Glamorgan.
IT (the pact) The AP team (SES!) Brad. Rob. "ren". Youth Group...Ms. Looije...Mr.deRaad....Sleepovers(gilligan? Red crunchy convertibles)...analyzing laughter...and that pink and green dress.
Thank you so much, guys. You stood by me through everything that i went through - all the hard times and the laughter. You know when to let me cry and when to cheer me up. You know how to make me laugh....and you mean more to me than anything else. I can't believe that next year it
won't be us. It
won't be. I mean, we'll talk but......but we'll be parted and my goodness! I love you guys so much(i'm driving myself to tears). Scanerel? Little Women and that STUPID vcr. The things we were going to do! The people we were going to become....and the ones we did become...it's entirely beyond the scope of what i thought we'd do. I never knew how amazing you guys would become...how i've watched you grow into the people you are and I'm thrilled. Because i know that in the ways you've changed so have i. We're not an entity anymore. We've managed to grow up and apart....and yet together.
It's always been us against the world.
I love you guys
(sorry rabbit. i'm going to show up at your door crying!)
love forever...
ta
