I want to come home
I know that by the end of April I'll be fine. But April is a long ways away. The realest thing around is right now (and possibly tomorrow) and my missing people back home with everything in my soul.
It's like, i spend my whole life talking about how i can't WAIT to go on an 'adventure', and now that it's staring me in the face I don't know what to do other than sniffle. It's strange, stepping out of my bubble. It's difficult --> and I'm in a place i've been to EVERY YEAR OF MY LIFE. I can only imagine how scary everywhere else will be.
But no matter how much I like it there, I know I'll be glad to come home.

I'm starting to think a lot about the changes that are going to take place. I don't think I will change massively: I think that basically i am who i will be. My perceptions of people, of places and of realities will change. But i know that while I will be different...I will fundamentally be the same. The same loves, hobbies and irritants.
...I'm getting mewed at by a cat, here.

I don't want to go anymore, but not going is no longer an option. I mean, TECHNICALLY it might be one...but in my own life it's not. This is something i HAVE to do - and something i have to do by myself. If i don't now, I never will. I have to stop hiding behind the protection of what i know and step out into the unknown...it's just that the saying 'g'bye' hurts.
And now here's where i say it's not like I'm gone FOREVER. Just five months. Remember how fast the six from graduation went? It's this tug-of-war in my heart and soul.

It's weird. I thought I'd be going through this at a much later date - farther along my journey instead of ruining the Christmas I spend with my family. It's here, though, and i have to deal with it. Any suggestions?

Hailing from the "T dot"
To quote possibly the biggest embarassment of Canada to date...but yeah. So I'm here, alive and well...though kinda homesick already. It's 1 PM here, meaning it's 11AM there. And nobody is online. : ( Thas ok. Not really much to say yet.
It's weird getting off the plane and breathing TO air. I don't CARE what people say: yes, Vancouver air IS better. It's softer. And on the plane dad was reading this magazine with an overtly sexual cover. I was a little shocked and asked him what it was about: why would he debase himself so?
The Magazine was Cigar Eficionado. I sincerely doubt that she will ever EVER smoke a cigar in her life. Then again, neither did Monica Lewinsky...
Sorry. It was begging for a smart-ass comment.

Ugh. I can't believe it'll be five months. I'm going to see if i can get my plane ticket home bumped from June 4 (the official return date) to the second week of may. I know myself. I will want to come home then. Big family thing tonight. Will be fun...but I can't shake the feeling that i just don't belong here anymore. I suppose that's what 'moving on' is, right? Well...that's it now. There'll be a few pics in the next few days, if you all will be patient. And if i missed you at Xmas? I'll get you coming home from SA.
ta

What?! Another update?!
yeah, i know. It's kind of odd, updating when i have very little to say. Christmas is two days away. I FINALLY finished all my shopping yesterday. Today I'll wrap, i guess...

The older I get the less and less I get excited about Christmas. It's a shame but true. It's another day where I don't have to work and where I get to visit family. On the upside - I get to visit family. On the downside I'm leaving behind some amazing people. It's not like i won't be back, though. I've got very mixed feelings about leaving. A part of me wishes that last week could have gone on for another two. A part of me just can't wait to GO - I've been waiting so long already...but.

My next update will probably be from TO. Dammit. I have to go pack/wrap gifts.

email me (serendipity_s@hotmail.com) with your mailing address if you want postcards. I'm not going to mail any to you if you never TALK to me, but if we've got reasonable communication then I will do my best! lol.

Ta (and Merry Christmas)

Good grief
Way too much Christmas play stuff. It kept me from fun with friends - not to mention that I felt absolutely belittled and like nobody cared if i was there or not. Not bitching - just saying I bet I'd have had more fun at the parties the play made me miss. Oh well: I suppose I can't help it.

Hmmm. Tonight I'm going to 'chill' with Ligwa (if anyone wants to join phone me on my cell). Jason is celebrating Johns' birthday...Kora is not well...and yeah. Honestly (still) nothing has happened.
But apperantly there was an IT class discussion on how I was dating Jason. It amuses me greatly...and kinda makes me wonder, too. But whatever : P C'est la vie.
Give me a week or so. I'll have much, much more to say.

Lordy. I've been out way too late every day for the last week and a day. WHat can i say? I'm being converted into a night owl. Slowly but surely...lol.

Bah. I'm just going to get more and more ambiguous as the entry goes on. So ignore me now, and I'll talk to you later?
...This is weird, though. This is the first day in about two weeks that i haven't talked/seen Jason. It's strange.

ta for now!