And speaking of trust?
It's amazing what a google search will pull up, eh?

Sweet Misery
I'm coming down with a cold. Getting sick while in a foriegn country is NOT a great way to spend a day, I think. Not to mention that it is freezing in this office. AND it's raining outside. Whoever said Africa was sunny was seriously smoking something funky.
Today is not a good day. Only Josh Groban is keeping me both sane and away from tears. I couldn't sleep last night -- every time i would drift into that blessed oblivion my window would rattle and I would wake up again.
But now I am actually hitting 7 weeks left. Which is good. I've been abnormally homesick lately. TO the point where i've lost my appetite and don't want to do anything but sleep. It's not a desperate feeling...but one that is terribly uncomfortable.
I'm finding my new family...I'm finding it difficult to fit in with them. They are so incredibly different than my home, and my friends. Not to mention that I'd forgotten what 14-year-olds are like. But I shouldn't say this, right? Because they are all so nice...maybe it's because I'm still too nervous to ask for anything, or to put my flannel pants on during the day. Or to sleep late for fear that I'll look lazy...or any of that stuff. And i know that that's something I have to deal with... but it's a lot easier said than done.
I'm wondering if maybe somewhere subconsciously I'm not letting myself get comfortable, because I know I'm leaving in 7 weeks. THat's only like, fifty days. Considering I started at 150...I guess that's not so bad.
I'm sure most of this is because I'm tired and coming down with something. but I'm sad. No, not really lonely, not *alone*...just homesick. It's the little things, I think.
Like I miss being able to just jump in the car and drive. It doesn't matter WHERE...just...that I could go. It's the little things that make up life.
...especially in my case, eh? :P
When I am down, and oh, my soul so weary
When troubles come, and my heart burdened be
Then I am still and wait here in the silence
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

If you jump I'll break your fall...
I forgot what kind of WICKED CDs I burn. Currently listening to Savage Garden -- when they were still Savage Garden. Crash and Burn. GREAT song.

So truthfully, I've been feeling rather contemplative lately. Just spending a lot of time reflecting on all sorts of good memories of friends and family. I don't know why, really. Maybe it's a way that i can stay connected to everyone back home without having to imagine them (you guys) without me. Because that's one thing I've learned. Life goes on.
I've been in an interesting state of mind lately. I don't think I've ever been in a time like this before; I've been living in both the future and the past for so long. I'm drawing strength from memories of people who love me, and I'm being thrilled by the possibilities that stretch out before me. I can't wait to be with you guys, and I'm so grateful that I know you. It's weird. I'm here, but I'm not here. Knowing that this is impermanent is both a trial and a joy. It means that i get to go home eventually. It also means that i won't settle in completely. It sort of makes you hover in between whatever. but there. Not that it really matters to me. :P Because as much as I love it here -- i'm a Canadian. MOST definitely. I can't live in a place that doesn't appreciate ice hockey.

I've actually had a dream about ice hockey. I suppose it beats the ones where all my friends decide that they hate me and i come home to nobody and nothing...but still. How hard up am I for Canadian culture that i start dreaming about big, burly men gliding around on frozen water hitting eachother and a little round puck?!
Not to mention that I'm looking forward to saying "Merci Beaucoup" and not having people look at me like I'm crazy.

Anyways. For the curious, I'm posting a picture of Jake (hopefully I can get it to work).

Wow
So, for lack of motivation (and work) I've begun another futon review. Viper updated. SO yes, futon will rise again. :P That is, if Kgwa wants to do it still. C'mon. It's fun
Yees.

Sargonia, City of Angry Fools
Welcome back to Ligwa, who had dissappeared into the Hawaiian wasteland for the last few days...and a great big HI and THANKS to all those who love me enough to comment.
Aside from that bit of absolute RAGE i emailed out to the select few of you who i really love (just teasing) the latest big news is that I have the internet at work!!
I don't think i have the ability to d/l MSN, but you never know. I haven't tried yet.

I'm also thinking that maybe i can do a Futon review. Mostly because i'm bored, and it's always fun to direct my negative energy to something bitchy and *productive*.
>_<

I've been listening to my Josh Groban CD almost nonstop since i got it. I am in love with that man's voice.
Travelling Updates
It looks like I'll be home on May 3. So yes. Leaving May 2nd and home on May 3. Oooh boy will i ever be a train wreck.
Anyhow.
No more for now
ta

Irked
I AM alive -- not that it seems to matter to anybody...>( But i AM still no this earth, and i am still moderately alive...I was surprised on Thursday night with a debriefing in Flagstaff the next morning. I HATE five AM. We took the five hour drive into what was formerly a homelands (under the apartied) -- the Northern Cape. It was a very...third world place. but i couldn't get over how happy everybody was...
but that's for later.
So, we arrived at the venue at about 10AM, and the people were singing. And we're talking earthy, beginning of "circle of life" singing. Anyhow, i was completely enchanted when they all started moving to the door and out it, still singing, to greet us. They literally sang us all the way into the hall, and up into our seats. I was completely blown away. As i was listening to them sing in Xhosa, I was struck by how lucky i am. I bet that very few people i meet will ever have that opportunity -- this is something that i will never forget as long as i live...
Anyhow, the whole thing was fun, though the language barrier was a bit of a problem. Half of the ceremony was done in Xhosa, where i would sit and try not to look completely stumped. They were very impressed that i was from Canada, and thought that Gavin and Val were also Canadian. They Also thought i was responsible for the No Apologies program, and so i am hereby supposed to thank my father...but it was too much work to try to change their minds. So it won't kill them to think that. :P
Rev. Mdleleni says hello to "Canada" by the way. So on her behalf -- "hi!"
On the way home i had my first experience of this type -- we hit a dog. Now strangely this i remember more accurately than the singing. [shudder] poor fido. Maybe i'm more sadistic than i thought, because it doesn't really bother me all that much.
ANyhow.
I got home at around five, and the internet was down (hence the lack of emailage), and i had to pack and shower so that i would be ready to go to Gateway and Umlalazi this weekend. Sooo at around 6 we set out to Gateway, where i had my first Sashimi. Tuna. It's actually surprisingly yummy. I also had my first Calamari, which is like chewing salty rubber. Yum yum...
We arrived at Umlalazi at around ten thirty...and then promptly went to bed. At 4:45 AM (yes, that hour actually DOES exist) we got up and went to a game reserve. I saw zebras, impalas, rhinos, warthogs, giraffes, elephants....um. There were more, but i seem to have forgotten them. Ooh. A turtle, bats, a wildebeast, buffalo....and i THINK that's it. It was super neat. I have a TON of pictures. We killed any number of swallows as we drove along.
Soo we spent the last half of that day doing very little...then slept until today, when we went to see the raffia pine trees, home of then Pine-nut vulture. And yes. That was ecologically very interesting, and I'm sure that I'll have more little details for y'all later...but now i'm just trying to explain what is goin' down...
Um. Oh yeah, on Friday i went to buy a couple of CDs, and my card was declined. I was SO scared, until i got here and learned that the bank shut down my card because i went to a place that was known for stealing numbers...etc. but i DID buy my CDs, and think that EVERYBODY should download the Josh Groban song "Oceano" which is amazing.
Anyhow. We ALSO ran overl ike, five million Crabs. SOOO sarah has been on a killing spree this weekend. Sort of.
That's it for now. Much to do, little time to do it!
Ta