Sweet Misery
I'm coming down with a cold. Getting sick while in a foriegn country is NOT a great way to spend a day, I think. Not to mention that it is freezing in this office. AND it's raining outside. Whoever said Africa was sunny was seriously smoking something funky.
Today is not a good day. Only Josh Groban is keeping me both sane and away from tears. I couldn't sleep last night -- every time i would drift into that blessed oblivion my window would rattle and I would wake up again.
But now I am actually hitting 7 weeks left. Which is good. I've been abnormally homesick lately. TO the point where i've lost my appetite and don't want to do anything but sleep. It's not a desperate feeling...but one that is terribly uncomfortable.
I'm finding my new family...I'm finding it difficult to fit in with them. They are so incredibly different than my home, and my friends. Not to mention that I'd forgotten what 14-year-olds are like. But I shouldn't say this, right? Because they are all so nice...maybe it's because I'm still too nervous to ask for anything, or to put my flannel pants on during the day. Or to sleep late for fear that I'll look lazy...or any of that stuff. And i know that that's something I have to deal with... but it's a lot easier said than done.
I'm wondering if maybe somewhere subconsciously I'm not letting myself get comfortable, because I know I'm leaving in 7 weeks. THat's only like, fifty days. Considering I started at 150...I guess that's not so bad.
I'm sure most of this is because I'm tired and coming down with something. but I'm sad. No, not really lonely, not *alone*...just homesick. It's the little things, I think.
Like I miss being able to just jump in the car and drive. It doesn't matter WHERE...just...that I could go. It's the little things that make up life.
...especially in my case, eh? :P
When I am down, and oh, my soul so weary
When troubles come, and my heart burdened be
Then I am still and wait here in the silence
Until you come and sit awhile with me.
I'm coming down with a cold. Getting sick while in a foriegn country is NOT a great way to spend a day, I think. Not to mention that it is freezing in this office. AND it's raining outside. Whoever said Africa was sunny was seriously smoking something funky.
Today is not a good day. Only Josh Groban is keeping me both sane and away from tears. I couldn't sleep last night -- every time i would drift into that blessed oblivion my window would rattle and I would wake up again.
But now I am actually hitting 7 weeks left. Which is good. I've been abnormally homesick lately. TO the point where i've lost my appetite and don't want to do anything but sleep. It's not a desperate feeling...but one that is terribly uncomfortable.
I'm finding my new family...I'm finding it difficult to fit in with them. They are so incredibly different than my home, and my friends. Not to mention that I'd forgotten what 14-year-olds are like. But I shouldn't say this, right? Because they are all so nice...maybe it's because I'm still too nervous to ask for anything, or to put my flannel pants on during the day. Or to sleep late for fear that I'll look lazy...or any of that stuff. And i know that that's something I have to deal with... but it's a lot easier said than done.
I'm wondering if maybe somewhere subconsciously I'm not letting myself get comfortable, because I know I'm leaving in 7 weeks. THat's only like, fifty days. Considering I started at 150...I guess that's not so bad.
I'm sure most of this is because I'm tired and coming down with something. but I'm sad. No, not really lonely, not *alone*...just homesick. It's the little things, I think.
Like I miss being able to just jump in the car and drive. It doesn't matter WHERE...just...that I could go. It's the little things that make up life.
...especially in my case, eh? :P
When I am down, and oh, my soul so weary
When troubles come, and my heart burdened be
Then I am still and wait here in the silence
Until you come and sit awhile with me.
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