A man is a bird without wings...and a bird is a man without sorrows.
I was happy. And it wasn't just a friday night, out on the town sort of temporary happy. I felt like for the first time in months life was exciting. I wanted to go back to school. I wanted to achieve everything i could and then some. I wanted to find a job, to go to school, to live life to it's absolute fullest...in time.
I felt happy. I felt like myself again for the first time in months. There was no question of depression or purpose or worry; there was only complete joy in him, in me, in us. I felt like myself for the first time in years -- before I 'grew up'. Before all of them -- Kora knew me like that for the first few months. Before it all changed. I felt so much like myself, so indescribeably light and full of hope and promise.
Maybe it was in the way he would look at me. We would be somewhere and he would stop in whatever he was saying and just look. I'd ask "what" and he would say "you're beautiful". And for the first time in my life I believed it. In the way he would talk to me -- his voice would get a little lower, softer (more intimate) and he would tell me that he loved me. Maybe it was the fact that one night we laughed for ten minutes straight. Just laughing, until my sides hurt and I couldn't take it anymore. The way we built a fort out of pillows on his bed (there were only four), and i stole all of them. I don't exactly know who won that, but I think it was me.
Two people can get me this sort of high, and they know who they are. I don't need to state it again.
Is this what love is?
Every time I think I have a handle on what love is it changes, and I find myself groping around in the dark. As far as dark goes, however, it's a good one to be in.
in other news...
Looks like my next venture into the great wild east will be in Dec. Four months is a long wait, but hopefully it'll go fast.
School starts in three weeks tomorrow, i can't wait.
I'm starting to look into transfer information for next year. Kgwa, this will mean we have much discussing to go.
Apparently we're going to the island on...sunday for the museum.woo.
Life is otherwise shit.
I was happy. And it wasn't just a friday night, out on the town sort of temporary happy. I felt like for the first time in months life was exciting. I wanted to go back to school. I wanted to achieve everything i could and then some. I wanted to find a job, to go to school, to live life to it's absolute fullest...in time.
I felt happy. I felt like myself again for the first time in months. There was no question of depression or purpose or worry; there was only complete joy in him, in me, in us. I felt like myself for the first time in years -- before I 'grew up'. Before all of them -- Kora knew me like that for the first few months. Before it all changed. I felt so much like myself, so indescribeably light and full of hope and promise.
Maybe it was in the way he would look at me. We would be somewhere and he would stop in whatever he was saying and just look. I'd ask "what" and he would say "you're beautiful". And for the first time in my life I believed it. In the way he would talk to me -- his voice would get a little lower, softer (more intimate) and he would tell me that he loved me. Maybe it was the fact that one night we laughed for ten minutes straight. Just laughing, until my sides hurt and I couldn't take it anymore. The way we built a fort out of pillows on his bed (there were only four), and i stole all of them. I don't exactly know who won that, but I think it was me.
Two people can get me this sort of high, and they know who they are. I don't need to state it again.
Is this what love is?
Every time I think I have a handle on what love is it changes, and I find myself groping around in the dark. As far as dark goes, however, it's a good one to be in.
in other news...
Looks like my next venture into the great wild east will be in Dec. Four months is a long wait, but hopefully it'll go fast.
School starts in three weeks tomorrow, i can't wait.
I'm starting to look into transfer information for next year. Kgwa, this will mean we have much discussing to go.
Apparently we're going to the island on...sunday for the museum.woo.
Life is otherwise shit.
1 Comments:
That's a great story. Waiting for more. »
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