Subsequently

Something like faith.

Name:
Location: Kingston, Ontario, Canada

With all the issues under the sun.

Friday, June 2

Overcast days never turned me on...
You know, it's almost 1pm and I'm still not showered and ready for life? Though - to be entirely fair - I don't think I'm EVER ready for life, really. You know. I pretend everything is great and will be easy and beautiful...and it never is. Not that everything sucks, but I have a tendency to idealise almost every situation. What can I say? It's what gets me up in the mornings.

I've been really bored lately. I don't know why - no, I do know why. The monotony is getting to me. I don't understand how people keep themselves occupied for YEARS on end doing the same things day in and day out. When I was in high school at least I was learning something. Now I'm just rotting away here in this messy little house, doing nothing. I have infinite potential and it's all wasting away. I mean, I live here and i could go and drink my sorrows away like so many OTHER young adults...but I'd really rather not do that. It leaves you with a nasty hangover, and we all know how fun THOSE are...

I don't know what it is that my life is missing right now. I have everything that I want/wanted. For the first time in a very, very long time (potentially ever) I really like who i am, inside and out. I am loved, I love...everything works. Everything is good. So why am i always waiting for the next thing? Why am i always waiting for the next trip, the next wedding, the next movie? Why can't I find a measure of contentment where I am? Does this mean I'm not where I should be? I don't know.

Maybe it's because it's raining today. Who knows?

3 Comments:

Blogger Chris said...

I don't think it means that you aren't were you are supposed to be right now but rather that you aren't done yet. If you were done that would be so sad and wrong you and i are much too young to be done hehe

12:17 AM  
Blogger Lisa said...

I was unhappy in Vancouver because I wasn't where I was supposed to be. Now I'm here, and now I'm happy. I'm a big believer that when something's not quite right, something needs to change.

You're probably bored because you're not being intellectually challenged or stimulated beyond WOW (and that doesn't count, I don't care what you say).

When I was doing nothing I felt like such a waste of space - not accomplishing anything, just sucking up oxygen and various other chemicals. You and I are just too smart to not do something with our brains, and too driven to not make a difference.

2:26 PM  
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