Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
**Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.**
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
I'm not a complete idot, some parts are missing.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
NyQuil -The stuffy, Sneezy, why-the-hell-is-the-room spinning medicine.
God must love stupid people, he made so many.
It IS as BAD as you think and they ARE out to get YOU.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
**Procrastinate Now**
Rehab is for quitters
I have a degree in Liberal Arts - Do you want fries with that?
Computer programmers don't byte, they nibble a bit.
**Finally 21, and Legally Able to Do Everything I've Been doing since I was 15.
All men are idiots and I married their king
Stupidity is not a handicap, park elsewhere!
Discourage Inbreeding - Ban Country Music
They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken
WELCOME TO KENTUCKY - Set your watch back 20 years.
**The trouble with life is there's no background music.**
Keep honking asshole...I'm reloading

<--funny